In my big head....

Assalamualaikum

I couldn't sleep last night....laying in bed with my husband by my side ( he was working on his office work ), I tossed and turned until I started making list after list after list of all the things I wanted and things I wanted to do...

1.   Buy new curtains

2.   Buy a sofa for living room

3.   Buy plants to liven up house

4.   Fix the vacuum cleaner

5.   Start rearrange the books in the study

6.   Learn to cook more & add new recipes

7.   No more negative thinking

8.   Break bad habit of eating ice & maggi mee

9.   Look for a new insurance plan

10. Save up for our Europe trip

11. Start a nest egg

12. Finish up my degree

13. Translation course

14. Language program

15. A better career prospect

16. Make sure that all of the above went thru smoothly

17. To get pregnant and start a family

18. To be a more dutiful wife, daughter, sister and human being to my husband, parents, sister and all man kind

19. To fulfill my duty as a good muslim to Allah S.W.T

I have no idea what was going on in my big head...all this lists starts to pour out...whether it's a life long desire to finish something or from sheer responsibility..I want to make my life better..thus making the lives of people around me better too...I've been feeling bitter these past few months...and I am in a habit of not finishing anything I've started..so, here's my mission...to complete the above list as smoothly and as sanely as I can...insyaallah

Teaching vs .....whatever

Assalamualaikum

I have actually partake in a quiz the other day. Quiz about finding your life's purpose. After taking it,  i ended up with teaching as my life purpose...which is kind of cool but left me unsure....

You see, i believe teaching to be a good profession. A noble career....nothing is more wonderful in handling a class full of students and seeing them make something out of their lives...But to be honest, I kind of dreaded the teaching profession. Not to demean it in any way, it's just I don't thing I have what it takes to be a good teacher. In my opinion, a teacher is someone worldly, someone who is more knowledgeable than anyone and someone who you can trust your future to...

As for me, I just don't make the cut. I mean I love teachers, don't get me wrong but I don't think I have the ability to transfer my smarts to others. I can't convey and explain well to make others understand me...I can understand things in my own weird way but not able to convey it to people. That is a curse. I would love to be a teacher. I can just imagine it in my head. In a classroom, relaying on History subject to my students...I just love History....A while ago, I was toying with the idea to take up a degree in Islamic History just for my passion....the thought of teaching the subject did cross my mind...but I can't even teach my sister to cook a simple dish like making sambal...let alone teach History to kids whose future depends on acing subjects...I just don't have the courage...yet...I think....bummer :(